Bulls I

The World Is Our Oyster

2008-06-03T09:30:31Z

In the following paragraphs, I describe the experiences of Orientation day of the PGSEM course @ IIMB for the 2008 batch.

As one gets off Bannerghatta road, and glides smoothly into the serene campus of the Indian Institute of Management Bangalore, all the chaos gets left behind. The churning mind assumes a clarity previously absent. A sense of timelessness envelops you - much like the IIM campus itself. You may have been on the campus earlier for many reasons - to visit the library, to collect application forms - but when you walk in the doors as a student, its different - the shoulders broaden, the gait is more elegant, the stride more confident. There is a sense - a sense of something big, a feeling of welcome change. For IIM is not just another school - its a Hogwarts - and it is known for making magicians of its students, even of muggles like me.

DAY 1:

So as I turned up at the IIMB on the dot at 7.45 am on Saturday morning, I was led to the breakfast area. This was followed by a welcome ceremony. After this, there was a team building workshop - a very interesting and inspiring session. When the same thing happens @ work, employees are indifferent. But here, things were different - we participated with gusto and showed total involvement. At the end of the session, we learned a few basic but important lessons on management and life.

Post lunch, we were given a talk on the administration and general do's and dont's by Mr. Bharathi - I found this to be the most essential part of the 2 days. After this, Mr. Shankar Venkatagiri, the chairman of the PGSEM, painted a terrifying (but probably true) picture of the course. The PGSEM is 2.5 year long course - and when you add the pressures of work and marriage and children, you can be assuredly sure that you will be tired at the end of this long journey.

ASIDE:
[ For those who landed here via google :

But the PGSEM is a sound investment as history indicates, and I am doubly sure of this because of the energy I saw on the faces of the seniors who organized the Orientation event for us - anyone with so much energy after one year of grueling & rigorous life will do well. The PGSEM students (on average) may not have the number cruching ability of their....oops..."our" PGP counterparts, but then solving 5 problems a minute does not necessarily indicate your ability to top an MBA program.

The CAT is another example of the great Indian twisted logic that we place so much faith in to choose the leaders of our next generation. "CAT" and "Top Ranking students" - most of the great businessmen I know would have failed miserably in both. However, let's leave this argument for another day.

It is the wealth of experience - and, thereby, the hunger for learning and excelling, combined with the maturity of being slightly older, as also the class diversity in terms of age and the attributes one develops by multi tasking - that makes the PGSEM students a formidable bunch. And don't forget, we are actually applying all the we learn - and as they say, there's no better teacher than practice ].

This was followed by a Corporate quiz organized by the PGSEM batch. Of the 40 odd questions that were asked, I could answer two - and both were wild guesses [ Next time I visit Las Vegas, I must try my luck at one of the tables there ].

We were then given a case study to complete - Yay! Our first assignment - which we postponed for later.

The dinner was followed by a ragging session - more of an introduction session between the seniors and those of us juniors who decided to stay back. I must admit I've never had such sporting seniors ever. The ragging was 2-way - and some of us had fun ragging our own batchmates as well.

That night, an unfortunate few folks had their sleeps disturbed by a bunch of 5 extra energetic people arguing a case study in the middle of the night in a cricket stadium.

DAY 2:

The day opened with - guess what - a Math Quiz !! Although its been a while since we left school, most of us managed to score some decent marks. They actually scored the sheets and gave us the results in a short while as well as announcing the toppers. Amazing! Talk about seriousness.

This was followed by a Presentation on Presentations - a lively and interactive class where one person was asked to describe his experience of eating elephants - and he actually gave quite a graphic description of it. I mean, how heartless can you get !! I understand eating chicken, lambs, goats, deer, but elephant - no way!! Personally, I draw the line at Crocodiles.

The rest of the half was business - we were given introductory - and inspiring - lectures on Sales, Micro Economics and Operations. At 4.30, toppers of respective subjects came up and gave us tips on how to prepare - I thought this was a very thoughtful gesture.

Finally, there was a speech from Mr Som Mittal, Nasscom President, and a panel discussion on the next generation of IT leaders - which (in my opinion) failed to throw up too much radical thought on the subject.

I then had dinner - and what a dinner it was - a sumptuous feast, made more sumptuous by the company of Mr. Shankar Venkatagiri, whose intense eyes bore in on us like a homing device - and left a deep impact as he proceeded to destroy our preconceived notions of success and urged us to follow our hearts. As I left the campus that evening, I was sleepy and exhausted, but reinvigorated and vibrant. There is a fear of the unknown and the struggle which I have never done in the past, but I look at it like the weather that evening - it had rained heavily earlier, but when I drove home, the rain was forgotten - all I could feel was the refreshing smell of wet mud.

Hopefully, in the years to come, we will justify the faith that the Institute and her people have put in us. There is a duty to be done - to the nation and to ourselves - a duty to unleash our passions and prove ourselves worthy of this great institute ( which, despite the increase in fees, I suspect is still doing us a favor by allowing us to partake in the company of India's greatest wealth - the great minds that crowd the corridors of IIM Bangalore ).

---- The Elephant Eater :)

The Truth About Lies

2006-10-13T14:33:34Z

This was a speech I gave at the Toastmasters'.

Introduction

My professor once told a girl who was late for class yet again. “Girl, You are always coming late. I’m tired of your excuses. So many days you were lying with me, now go and lie with the principal”. In this lecture, however, I will focus on the “lying to smn” as against “lying with smn”.

Abraham Lincoln once said : “You can fool all the people some of the time, some you can fool all the time, but you can’t fool all the people all of the time”. And in saying so, he had us fooled yet again. For if the evidence below is true, and it is so, it goes to prove that humanity can not only be fooled all of the time, but actually, it wants to fooled all of the time. In fact, we want to lie and we want to hear lies. Lying is more integral to our survival than the truth.

Politicians and lawyers, of course, are the standout liars. In politics, there is a saying: “A straight line is the shortest way to disaster”. They lie before the election, during their term and until they die. Then their children carry on from where they left off. Foreign policy is another source of lies. Most countries cloak self-interest in a veil of generosity and it works all the time. Marketing is yet another area where lying is a requirement of the job. Resumes, report cards and love are other areas. In fact, Robert Wright once said “The most successful people are those who can lie the best to the spouse, convincing her of your ability to be the best choice.” When women say they want honesty in a man, it is implied that honesty in most matters except those pertaining to themselves. And men, of course – we excel in lying in the matters of love.

Why We Lie…

Let’s face it. Truth can get boring. Once in a while, we are all tempted to lie, and we want to hear the most pleasant lies. But the paradox is that we don’t ever want to be caught lying and we always take great pleasure in unmasking the lies of others.

1. Self-preservation
2. Self-esteem
3. Fun
4. Being One up
5. Developing Self-confidence

At times, lying is imperative, unless you believe in an after-life ----Criminals----. It’s a question of saving your own skin or life. Other situations may not be so life threatening but more of an ego hassle. ------Xpressions articles ---- But all of us, we love lying for heck of it. What would life be if we couldn’t lie for fun? To play a prank, to pull a friend or enemy’s leg? Other times are when you want to go one up over someone, when you want that promotion so badly that you are willing to sacrifice the character of your competitor --------Corporate-----

Finally, and this is a new discovery of my own, lying is critical to one’s own self-development. Your success is not determined by how true you can be to yourself but how well you can lie to yourself -----Cricket batting example, polygraph test ------.

Succesful Liars…

The funny thing about lies is that the bigger the lie, the easier it is to get people to believe it. Religion is the principal aggressor of this kind of lies. They have you believe the craziest of explanations in order to preserve the social order of things. Smn once said “When there are multiple explanations, the simplest one is most often the truth”. But religion has mostly ignored this fact.

The best liars of the world have often been the most powerful people of their time. To be able to pass off a lie as the truth is a critical requirement of a leader. Hitler is the best example. How Hitler convinced his people that Jews were evil and must be condemned is beyond our comprehension.But we see parallels of it even today in the foreign policies of some countries.

Justification

Even god lies. Krishna in the case of the bhagvad gita. Or in his younger days when eating butter. Children lie. Children often tell the best lies. -----Socks story----
Lying, therefore, is not in the domain of the unnatural. Actually, it is lying which is natural, and it is truth which is forced. From now on, I have decided that I am going to lie with Abandon. Wonder where she went, my Abandon....

Embedded in kodaikanal

2006-08-08T15:44:33Z

Yes, no, yes, no, yesss. Now, later, now, later, now. At last! Here was my first team outing from HTSL in my two years here. And what a fine experience it turned out to be.

On reaching Kodaikanal, one is amazed at the fact that, despite tourist spots all over the country deteriorating due to crass commercialisation, it has managed to retain its colonial feel and aesthetic beauty. In spite of its fair share of bustling shops and crowded pathways, Kodaikanal still has its sprawling meadows, pristine lake and evergreen valleys intact. Somehow, one cannot but help feel that it has got right what Bangalore has got wrong.

One of the several tastefully built hotels was the Kodai Resort Hotel, into which we lugged our bags early Saturday morning. The weather, apart from being a little on the colder side, was quite mild and pleasant. We were greeted with a sumptuous breakfast – made more delicious by our desire to put our backbreaking all-night journey behind our...er...backs. The rest of the morning and afternoon was spent sightseeing and clicking pictures.

It was the evening that brought the crowd alive and transformed the motley crowd of fifteen into a team of one. While there were many unknown variables prior to the trip, the evening session by the campfire helped transform mere names into living people and still faces into festive carnivals. What started as a hesitant and formal ritual, metamorphose into a frenzy of dancing and games partly due to the gentle prodding of Harsha, and partly due to the ballet and Bhangra skills of Veda and myself, respectively. And so it was dance, musical chairs, a hilarious session of JAM (Just A Minute), Antakshari and a game of cards that helped individuals come into their own and embrace the concept of the team openly.

We left Kodaikanal the next morning for Bangalore. On the way, we paid a surprise visit to Karthik’s home in Karur. We were given a live demonstration of the cloth mill. It was a learning and a humbling experience. To think that the International brands we so haughtily flaunt and die for are made in our own backyards by our own people who may not be able to afford the very clothes they make....

-------

One of the rather unsettling aspects about most of us is the manner in which we tend to perceive ourselves and our colleagues - as Trainee, Engineer, TL, PM, HR, Domain Lead and BU Lead. We often tend to overlook the fact that somewhere in there, we are individuals as well – distinct individuals with disparate talents, experiences, expectations, interests, compulsions and behaviors (although all of us conform to Honeywell behaviours). In doing so, we never get to really know our colleagues. And hence, we miss out on making our workplaces exciting, fun and friendly places to work in.

It is here that team outings can play a critical role. Our trip threw up a host of pleasant surprises. Who knew that studious Mr.Vedaraman could be so prolific a dancer? Who knew that shy and reticent Ganesh could actually double up as a motormouth if the situation demanded it? Who knew before the trip that witty and humorous Karthik Kandavel even existed? And who knew that the bespectacled(and eligible) MCA topper Hameed was actually hooked on to Bollywood actresses? Who knew indeed….

One believes that this trip will fuel the energy we bring with us to work every morning. One hopes that this will help the newcomers blend in better with the team and express themselves more freely. This trip should encourage innovative ideas to be more forthcoming and should result in the development of a more cohesive outfit and a collective, helpful, mutually respectful, knowledge driven workforce. For the seniors, the new closeness should help identify and encourage the talents of the others.

Personally, I discovered once again how endlessly fascinating people can be. And even though between us we cover a sea of talent, jokes, singing, dancing and playing cards, with powerful protagonists like Ganesh, Karthik K, Hameed, Vedaraman among others in the fray, when you came right down to it, it was I who really took the cake. You see, the day we left happened to be my birthday and the team surprised me by buying me one. Thank you, fellows.

- Karthik Naig

Marriage – Time for Divorce?

2006-01-31T04:45:15Z

Marriage – Time for Divorce?

Jeans? Not Quite, Sweetheart…

We live in tumultuous times.

I prefer marriage, but I think marriages have lived out their lives. Why do I think so? To answer this, let us understand the purpose of this glorious institution we call marriage from the standpoint of Darwin 's theory of evolution. But first, the question – why Marriage at all? Why and how did marriage evolve in the first place? If pre-20^th century society was always male-dominated, and considering the common belief that all men wanted was to have sex, then how come “Wham, Bam, Thank you Ma’am” never really got in vogue? Or for that matter, how come it was never Biff, Bang, On your way, Man ?!!

Marriage was a solution for a pressing problem that the human society faced while still in its infancy: that of producing and rearing offspring successfully. In my opinion, all the other factors viz. a bond that creates spiritual harmony, is emotionally fulfilling, and gives us security at old age are secondary. The primary purpose of any animal (which we very much are) is to multiply and spread the world with more of its kind therein increasing its chances of survival in case of calamities. For a mammal, because its offspring are so very weak at birth, it has the additional responsibility of rearing its offspring until adulthood. Hence, reproducing and nurturing the young is encoded in our genetic makeup.

As already mentioned, the success of a species lies in multiplying [There is ample proof of this in India. Every Indian child is rigorously taught the multiplication tables right from birth. It’s not very well known, but in India, Multiplication tables are a religion by themselves. Most Indian children have multiplication tables for breakfast, lunch and dinner – and if they make a mistake, then that’s all they get. But hey, who says 1 billion is easy?] Anyways, nature, through eons of trial and error, hit upon a successful strategy - It built in the male the desire to see his genes proliferate, and in the female the desire to see that a maximum number of her offspring reach adulthood. In the case of humans, since a child takes around 16-18 years to reach adulthood, it means that the woman can mate with only one partner or, at most two in her life. Indiscriminate mating by the female meant she would have that many more children to care for. Also, the males would have to compete with each other to mate the most healthy (read “attractive”) female. Feminists are not all wrong when they say men only try to get into the jeans – they are just a bit off – men actually want to get into the genes.

This natural competition is almost universal in the mammalian kingdom and ensures the best offspring, thus ensuring the success of humans as a species. This is why you observe that throughout history, there have always been more men than women having indiscriminate sex. And this is also why you find that a woman always looks for security in a man. Her innate, instinctive responsibility lies in ensuring that a maximum of her children reach adulthood successfully. This is best ensured by seeing that her offspring are well-protected by a bodyguard. Who better than her mate to do this job? This is why the woman will accept him only when she is sure that that man will give her the best offspring and will protect her as well as them until they reach adulthood. Ever wondered why it is almost always the girl who's coy and smug while the guy has to do all the wooing? Well, there’s your answer.

Love and Jealousy

The paradox of the statement I make next is so beautiful, it’s well, fascinating – you are the reason your parents fell in love with each other, even though you were not born at the time. Lovers often wonder where they get their sudden doses of motivation, courage, inspiration, joy and protectiveness for their partner with which they feel they can do seemingly impossible acts for their loved one and often, they can and do. Where does this heightened emotion come from? It seems to arise from nowhere.

But there is an explanation. Nature had to evolve a strategy that would keep the offspring protected from harm as much as possible until the offspring learnt to take care of itself. Of all the strategies possible, it chose love - a set of bio-chemical reactions that make it impossible to contemplate existence without the other person[Think about it. If nature had chosen any other strategy to keep children safe (as indeed, it might have experimented) for 18 long years, it was almost certainly doomed to fail]. You were not a consequence of your parents’ love for each other; actually, you were the reason for it. You were not the fruit of their loins, you were the seed! Love, in short, has a cause - children. It is undoubtedly a very solid understanding of this concept that arranged marriages, defying common sense, have lasted for millennia. Arranged marriages are just as sound in their logic as love marriages are and will last, on average, almost exactly for the same duration.

Continuing in the same vein, there is also an explanation for feelings of jealousy one feels when the spouse switches loyalties - this would mean that there is a lesser chance of his/her offspring being cared for and hence, a lesser chance of them reaching adulthood. Jealousy, therefore, is nature's answer to the problem of indiscriminate sex.

Transformations

The woman's need for security is why most women always like to remain in groups. And because they remained in groups most of the time, they had to find an activity to keep their immensely intelligent minds busy while their mates hunted for deer. Unfortunately, their 2-year-old offspring could not provide them the intellectual activity they craved for. And since this was all somewhat before the time of Kyonki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi and Ghar Ghar Ki Kahani, they invented what is now known as gossip – a term for vividly imaginative, unproductive, random and incessant chatter. Remember, we are discussing a period some 15,000 years ago. Since then, of course, womankind has made great strides in great many fields. In fact, now they gossip about ‘Kyonki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi' and ‘Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki‘(We see here the actual beginnings of Data Abstraction - gossip about gossip). Linearly extrapolating, in 17,005 AD, we can probably see gossiping about the gossip in ‘Kyonki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi' and ‘Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki'. While many may not agree with this part of my reasoning, I am sure one will not be so foolhardy as to contest my claim that in 17,005 AD, ‘Kyonki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi' and ‘Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki' will still air on primetime.

But we digress. Returning to the topic of marriage, our ancestors realized very early on that it had to protect its women so that they could nurture their offspring in a peaceful environment. In fact, in my view, this was one of the primary factors that led to the formation of societies and the concept of marriage – protection of women. If you observe why marriage has been so successful in India, you will see that women have had no option but to tolerate their drunk, chauvenistic, paunchy, demanding husbands. The women could not afford to have even the shadow of a negative thought about their husband in her mind. And this is still the main reason why has such a low divorce rate – the man still rules most of India .

But in urban , we see the beginnings of change with 's bold women leading the way. With contraceptives and condoms, children are not an issue anymore. Therefore, the woman can be that much more carefree in her choice of partners. The man, of course, is not complaining (as yet, at least). And when the woman wants to bear children, there will be day-care centers that will ensure their upbringing. And protection for the woman, while still an issue, may not be such a huge issue a few decades down the line with improved law enforcement - which leaves us with love as the sole motivation for marriage. As we are already seeing in the west, live-ins and open marriages have filled in to fill this basic human need. Why, pray tell me, will not India follow suit? Culture? Think again. Culture evolved for reasons – reasons that mostly reside in the distant past and few in the present that will soon cease to exist anyway. And where there is no more cause, there can be no more effect. Cultures will change in as much as a blink.

There is no doubt in my mind that marriage is on its way out. Our strong belief in marriage will eventually lose its battle to the onslaught of technology and the espousal of democracy. As the society begins its long journey towards the acceptance of the single woman, there will be more career women, more indiscriminate sex, more child crimes (a la US), probably more violence (due to men not being able to curtail their innate jealousy at having lost their women to other men), lesser love, more frustration and more Art of Living centers.

In a way, we all benefit. In a way, we all lose out. It is, as they say, all in the eyes of the beholder. The next generation will not view marriage the way our parents see it. Our parents think of it as a means of finding spiritual contentment, everlasting love and emotional support in times of need. The next generation, however, will see it as a chain tying them together for life and preventing them from experiencing life with different partners. Caught in the messy transition is the generation that is facing the brunt of this social upheaval – ours.

But it’s not all that bad. For now though, I get to test-drive the Porsches, the Ferraris and the Lamborghinis. In today's world, there are also many many station-wagons available. So as long as I get to test-drive the former but make my long-term investments in the latter, what cause do I have to complain?

Karthik Naig